Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
