i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Shame - the story of my life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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