so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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