If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
