She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
