That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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