I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
