There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
