Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
