people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
