i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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