Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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