i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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