that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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