my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
