didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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