This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
