I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
A+ Viking dick
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
