So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
