If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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