Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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