Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
