Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
