Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We have started to decorate penises.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize