Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
