I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
