Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
