i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
