Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
