It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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