How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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