So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
