I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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