Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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