I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
