I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
