I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize