...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
