Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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