yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
