I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
