brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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