It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
