All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
