East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize