A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
