I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize