it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
