My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
