Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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