Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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