Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
