so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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