Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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