You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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