Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
