i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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