out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
