Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
