i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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