We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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