Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
