You really coming over, don't trick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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