Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
