i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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