my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize