Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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