3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
